So Iv recognized a pattern that im gonna bring up with my therapist this month. Wanted to share it in this group too. I recently went to a concert with a friend and left my home town for two days. I was sooo, happy, excited, felt like extremely safe blah blah blah, for I’d say 1.5 weeks during/after the concert. Iv noticed a trend where if im doing something extravagant like spending a lot of money on something I enjoy, buying iced capps or going to a big event, I dont feel any of my bpd or trauma. I feel like it’s like an escape from my head in a way, because when the event is over and the high of it is done. I revert back to my self isolation, self loathing tendencies. Like I didn’t have a bad day mentally for almost 3 weeks and now im back to feeling my bad trauma/thoughts again. Im trying to remember what else made me happy prior to the concert. But it feels like whenever I do something extravagant I get lost in what else I enjoy, that will help me stay calm and happy like those big events, money spending and caffiene does for me. Anyone else experience this kind of thing?