I'm sitting here in my rented room that I just moved into. Like every other night, and I'm listening to random podcasts and one involved weddings. And I guess it just dawned on me, that even though conventional marriage isn't my end goal as a partner, the idea of any relationship in my life surviving long enough to plan something to that extent.

It's insane because I'm 26 years old, and the idea of sharing a bed with another romantic partner, let alone a living space, it's inconceivable and sort of hard for my mind to comprehend. Just having any stable relationships of any kind for that long. It's depressing but I feel like it's probably already too late. And I know I'm no prize either. But I'm just sick of being this isolated. But I can't help it. Nobody understands or seems to have patience for me, at all. When I do reach out, I'm glossed over.