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My FP just ended our 8 year relationship.
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They said that I'm too broken and they need to be with someone who can support them during hard times rather than looking after me 24/7.

I understand where they're coming from but I'm still fucking devastated... I hate that this debilitating disorder has fucked everything up. I've tried so much to make things manageable but it's like I take X number of steps back after each therapy session, and more after DBT days.

They were my everything.

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You have to set boundaries, which we are not great at. You have to make sure you let them have space, make sure you aren't putting all of your emotional stress on them, you need to work on trying to work through your emotional problems on your own. Our problems are not someone else's. We go to them for comfort and reassurance, but that's where it stops.

No one wants to be an FP, it's miserable. If they were your everything, you were putting too much on them and expecting too much. You should have other friends and family members you go to with problems and issues as well. When you SO is busy, you need to have other people that fill that time and space. Relying on one person is going to burn them out.

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Have you been working on preventing the FP situation from happening again. Learning to prevent that obsession is where you need to start.

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4 months ago