wrote this when i wasn’t lucid and wanted to share it with you guys:

i am a mozaic of pain

no faceid for i split daily

facing myself is a haunted house

i am painted all over the walls

i am ashamed of it all

there is the soul, a mirror, and my presumptions

i presume i know best

but i am not God only God is God

there is the soul, a mirror, and a presumption that

all that occurs will work in my favor.

we are disassociated heartbeats, walking tenderly

with pain

i conjure bullshit up with a wand

i wish my mom well. i wish she could love me fully.

i wish i could get a hug

i feel so sorry for little me im fighting for current me

the point of life is to lay out in the sun by the pool with my friends holding hands and laughing

i could paint a mural with my pain

i turned 29 yesterday

it is the youngest ill ever be

the comfort of my shadow does not deem it my determinant . i am my determinant.

i am a sobbing mess of gratitude and a slippery slope from falling

i am so thankful to be alive. i want to keep trying. i will never stop trying.