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Was the T-Shirt I made for him before he moved away littered with hidden personal references just emotional manipulation? Were my praises disguised songs pleading to not be abandoned? Was my golden image of him a negative of my own self-image? Were my attempts to hide my turbulent emotions by isolating myself just tests to see if he cared? Was getting close to his mother and sister a tactic of control?
I felt so genuine in each of these moments, yet something nagged inside of me that these were artificial and that I was failing. Now, I’m not so sure if people with BPD can experience true love.
pwBPD can absolutely experience true love. I have loved truly and deeply. What I struggle with is having enough to self respect to walk away from people I love when they are not healthy anymore. I’m so afraid of being abandoned I don’t ever let go. But the love was REAL absolutely.
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- 5 months ago
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