I just had my first first date in months, about 6-7 months since the end of my last relationship really serious relationship. And it was fantastic!

I ended up staying awake till like 5 last night outta anxiousness, then woke up at 8 to get ready 😭 so dumb idea. Looked good, did everything good. Realized half an hour before the date I hadn’t texted my actual date back all morning confirming that we are still on LOL. So had to do that.

Then we hung out… it was awkward at first. They had just gotten back into dating and hook ups, and this was my whole ass first date with someone new in forever. But eventually the conversation flowed well. We’re both mentally unwell which fueled much of our humor. And they were so outgoing and spontaneous. I was just happy to be involved and to spend time with someone like them. Ugh and they meowed 😂 whenever we were quiet or walking together they would go meow outta boredom as a tick and that was so funny. We had so much fun. I laughed sooo fucking much and ugh making them laugh was so cool! We drove out into the city and chatted about all kinds of stupid silly things. We walked around cheesy little shopping markets, went to a few comic stores where I got to buy us both some mystery boxes. Went to a sick gatcha arcade and I did surprisingly good at the games! Only ended up winning one thing they let me keep. And they bought me ice cream :) so nice.

They have an amazing singing voice like amazing amazing and they asked if I could hang a little longer to do karaoke and I was too nervous and honestly tired. Also for some reason I started to get overwhelmed and entered this weird depressive I don’t deserve this kind of state. We ended up hanging out a little more and eventually hugged goodbye before they walked down the block to go home. Their hello hug was good, the goodbye hug even better jeez.

I texted them but didn’t expect much back. Tbh I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt like they deserved better. We didn’t even plan to be serious maybe like a bit of a flirty friendship fwbs thing. But I still felt down like I ruined it and they will find something better than me. Until they texted me back so excited and asked for my number so we can keep in touch much easier.

It all feels so surreal. I’m so happy and anxious and relieved. I feel a million things.