Why doesn’t anyone give me a second chance?

I am A human being who is in perpetual state of actively pursuing a safer healthier and more balanced version of myself and I don’t even join dating sites because I can’t handle it. Then when i bond with someone organically they just are too nice to me..:its too much and i cant take it because i am so lonely and i cant handle inconsistent confusing abandonment and people so quickly turning on me Or giving up the second they dont like ONE thing it seems. I just cannot understand why people can leave me So easily. I feel so worthless, i didnt even have sex this time intentionally And i somehow feel MORE destroyed by this rejection and abandonment frok someone who less than 72 hours ago brought me coffee in the morning and send me Messages all day and ask me to spend a lot of time With them I truly wnat this part of me to die and it feels like suicidal and i want to hurt myself so badly AND i want to just find rest in the arms of someone who can accept that i am Not fucking PERFDCT PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME BECOME TOLERABLE