for context: my abuser from early last year did not have bpd, i disclosed to him that i did at the start of out relationship however. he consistently put me down, would give me mixed signals, push and pull, use me for emotional labor, and make fun of me and make me feel stupid and below him. he even once made fun of me expressing that i wanted to die, which is a screenshot he got from a friend, with other people. my ex hated this guy, and was the very first person to say that i was abused. what really confuses me is that as me and him started to fall apart in out relationship, after he gave me so many promises and mixed signals and said he would do right by me just to trigger my bpd over and over, he started to act more like my abuser. he would ignore me for HOURS everyday when i just wanted some reassurance, and triggered my bpd even more. i was having panic attacks everyday and he was barely there for me. i understood he had his own shit going on, but i found out that he started saying disgusting things behind my back before and after we broke up. he called me ugly, said i should kms, said i couldnt be "fixed", and many other things. he never communicated, ALWAYS blamed me. i was made to feel guilty. after we broke up, we reconnected. we apologized and he said that he split on me and i was right to be mad and it wasnt an ok thing to do. however, he split on me again and again. then accepted my comfort and would be nice to me and even said he loved me once, just to hate me the next day. at point point i called him out on it and what he did to hurt me, he seemed apologetic but when he woke up he blocked me, completely erasing my boundaries and the progress i was trying to make by cutting him off myself. he continuely shit talked me to his friends and followers, and even said that he would never pay me back for the money i owed him. was i too demanding? or did he abuse me too?