I've had 2 counsellors that I'd consider serious, both for around a year maybe more. When I mentioned to both of them that I think I might have BPD the response was something along the lines of:

It's just trauma. You don't want BPD. Most people with cPTSD get misdiagnosed with BPD.

It was said in a much more professional tone admittedly, but it was always dismissive and not very encouraging or supportive of my self-exploration and understanding. Both times I was told I shut that thought off for like 6 months before my brain started questioning again.

My childhood was fucked and my Mother (potentially father too) had Manic Depression / Bipolar / BPD (she got rediagnosed or something). I doubt it's relevant but due to childhood abuse I have cut my family off entirely.

I met someone amazing recently who suspects they have BPD and they remind me of someone I loved who did too. Naturally, I immediately felt the urge to research how to support someone with BPD and everything I could to understand it. I did, and have started applying it to support my friend. But that voice in the back of my mind was going: "hm.. interesting.. this sounds.. awfully.. familiar"

I want to bring it up to my counsellor again on Wednesday, but I just see it being dismissed again. Idk if there is any point in getting a diagnosis especially as the NHS can be awful and I could be looking at ridiculous waiting lists. I'm already waiting 6 years to find out if I have autism.

The final point I'll mention is when doing research I came across 2 fun facts that seem to be wildly consistent between studies: 1 - people with cPTSD tend not to self-harm or embody risky behaviours opting more for self-isolation. 2 - people with BPD often get misdiagnosed with cPTSD. The other way around to what I was told.

I don't know why I can't have both or what is so shameful about it, because I reckon I do and with my childhood that would make so much sense.

I asked someone at work why my counsellors said this and among many reasons, one suggestion was that they lacked experience which quite frankly if that is the case, pisses me off. Because how unprofessional is it to deny someone their understanding because you lack understanding? I would have hoped they would say "That actually is a very valid possibility, I lack experience in that field so I would be more than happy to recommend someone more specialised or advise you to look for someone with experience."

Then again how unprofessional is all of this. Maybe I'm rewriting all these experiences I really don't know anymore. All I know is since doing this research and meeting this friend my desire to speed down the motorway blasting music screaming my lungs out has been pretty high.

I don't know or understand BPD or how mine works. If anyone wants to dm and help me explore it go for it. Just no one under 18 because I'm quite sexual and also suicide comes up a lot. (I mean seriously if you're under 18 focus on yourself, never waste time on us BPD adults who have it fucked! It's just adding more confusion to your pot)