I just got diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago, and I feel like I’m genuinely losing my sanity. I have always struggled with my emotions and other BPD related things. I support and love everyone and anyone who has BPD or any personality disorder; or any disorder or disability in general. I see nothing wrong and will help any way I can. Except when it comes to me. Getting the piece of paper telling me that I have BPD has helped me understand or confirm why I struggle so much. But it’s also causing me to have a complete crisis, I don’t know what to do. I feel as though there is something seriously wrong with me. Not anyone else that has BPD. Just me. I don’t know who I am because I can’t tell if it’s the BPD or actually me. Or even my friends, I love my friends so much. I would do anything and would go any length for them. But they can never love me the way I do/want because they don’t have BPD. Or I get hurt easily and I can’t “just get over it” the diagnosis has truly caused me to so heavily obsess over myself and the disorder and I don’t know what to do or have any coping tools. I feel like I’m going to explode, like my heart and my head are about to burst. I care so much all the time and I feel like I’m all alone. The loneliness I feel is almost debilitating. I’m not very good at explaining all this. I’m sorry. I’m so new to all of this. I’m just struggling so much. I know therapy is important but I live alone and in a country that unfortunately, has everything so unbelievably expensive. I can only afford to go to therapy once a month on a good month. I don’t know what to do or how to manage or cope or anything and it’s starting to get to me so heavily that I feel I’m going or am having a nervous breakdown and may do something really bad. I’m so sorry for being so uneducated or not describing things correctly, I’m trying as hard as I can. Thank you to everyone who read all this or helps. I really appreciate it, so much.