Hiiii long time lurker, first time posting in a while.... feel defeated/a bit hopeless, like nobody likes me/I don't fit in anywhere, but...

I know I will eventually be okay. Funnily enough, this is actually the most confident I have ever felt. I am managing my BPD, ADHD, CPTSD, insomnia, and chronic back pain better than I have in 20 years through diet, exercise, meditation, audio books/podcasts and CoDA meetings. It still FEELS crazy scary and impossible, but I know feelings aren't always reliable. I'm also taking a break from sex/romance until I turn 30 which gives me a weird sense of relief. Inhale, exhale. I'm exhausted from having panic attacks so frequently, but even that is a feeling that simply can't last forever.

I am choosing to trust in the process of life. Not to be just, certainly not to be fair, but to provide opportunity. Inhale, exhale.