My entire life before now i had always a "favorite person" For the laat 5-7 years my ex was my person We used to stay on call almost 24/7 (we had calls over 100h long) (not the point) (i know someone will ask i'm 25M) We have broken up alsost 6 mounth ago she is someone else and i blocked her recently.. I have been too scared to get attached to anyone ever since we broke up and i had no one able yo meet my emotional needs I need to feel like i havr a reason to live I need to find i have someone to obssess with but i'm always to scared and too much in pain to do so cause i know the moment i get attached i need to put so much trauma on my partner and i know no normal person can handle that But i'm getting so deprate i'm starting to attempt suicide again cause i feel so worthless and unworthy of love

I really need help (i am on medication from a professional and yet] What do i need to do to find "my fav person' and them understanding i need to rely so much on them at the start but its not always gonna be like that it might be toxic attachment for a week or 2 but i will calm down i just meed a sesns of security... Please someone i need advice i want to not feel suicidal worthless and so goddam lonely for one single day