I am joining this community to seek advice and to read stories people have about living with BPD. My and my girlfriend have been together for almost 10 years, and have 2 beautiful girls together. I'm 35 and she's 28, she recently got the diagnosis of BPD like 2 weeks ago. Everything I've been reading about BPD has lined up perfectly with explaining her behaviors over the past so many years. Her first DBT therapy appointment is on the 19th of this month, but I'm scared she's gonna self sabotage before that. She had an appointment a few days ago but couldn't make as she self sabotaged last weekend. She struggles with addiction, depression, anxiety, and rheumatoid arthritis.

I'll try to make a long story short. What kicked off all the self sabotaging behaviors was her mom passing away 2 months before our first daughter was born. I didn't notice much as I was busy with work and trying to take care of my family. It mainly started with her stealing pills from her family members, and she hid pretty well. She got called out plenty of times, mainly from my own mom as she stole pills from her as well. She's been to rehab twice now. She got into outpatient rehab(group therapy) last year. Couple weeks ago, she finally got the diagnosis from her psychiatrist, didn't take that too well, made her spiral the first day. When she self sabotages, it's always on a Friday night, she disappears ends up hanging out with the wrong people doing the hard stuff. Then she pays for it thru the next week trying to recover. I try to be patient and understanding, but a lot of times I'm not. I know it doesn't sound good, and my patience wears thin at times.

This isn't the full story obviously, but I don't wanna make this post too long. So if anyone has questions, I'll answer them and if anyone has advice for me, I'll welcome it. This is all a learning process for me.