I don't even know why anyone would call this living, one moment I'm fine, the next all hell breaks loose, I'm looking at that rabbit whole that promises eternal rest at the end of it. Then I'm having severe anxiety attacks and now I'm very afraid to get one again. Then my world is just dark and i feel so alone. It's probably not true but that's how i feel. Noone is close enough to wrap me up in blankets like a burrito give me hugs and make sure I'm comfortable because i can't do it myself. And when i walk out that door I'm expected to be fine? I just want to cry and disappear. There should be a fairy that appears every time it gets bad to offer comfort and make the pain go away. I'm just hoping this community says something nice, anything.

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words, i seriously don't know how ya'lls survive this kind of torture, it's not fair for any of us. I hope we all make it to the other side.