I’m 28 years old and have been struggling with mental health issues for ~18 years. I am 6 years into my official diagnosis. I’ve tried pretty much every type of psychotherapy, excluding DBT. I have started 3 different programs and quit quickly because I can’t get behind a lot of the tools and tricks. I try to do some coping mechanisms or meditation/mindfulness and I end up feeling silly. I currently do not have a one on one therapist for the same reason. I just can’t sit and talk about the same stuff I’ve been talking about for 15 years anymore. I’m exhausted. I also don’t have a psychiatrist at the moment, because all the ones who specialize or even have experience with BPD are not taking new clients and I cannot be fucked to give anyone else a try after my previous experiences.

I know I’m feeling this way because of the disorder. I know I need help to feel better. But I feel so stuck because I feel stupid in therapy. Any tips?

(Forgive my formatting, I’m on mobile)