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BPD and distenangling
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This goes out to my BPD girlies/humans practicing poly.

How long have you been practicing?

Did you start out poly with your partner (primary) having to go from mono to poly?

How did you cope with the fear of abandonment while disentangling?

My partner has been my FP for the last 4 years. I was diagnosed with BPD 1 year ago and thatā€™s when I started being able to become aware of my BPD behaviors and actions.

We opened up our relationship Jan 2023, and the sex stuff doesnā€™t bother me itā€™s when romance, feelings, and emotions come into play that my brain goes haywire.

What were some of the things you found most helpful when dealing with each initial scary situation? Ie. First sleepover, partner develops feelings for another, partner has less time to spend w/ you, partner not as available/as willing to deal with BPD episodes?

I want to be poly, and hope to be okay with it someday but my nervous system is still having a lot of trouble and Iā€™m having difficulty regulating. Itā€™s like in that moment the only thing my brain will accept is ā€œyou love me and only meā€ type vibes.

Any tips, tricks, advice would be rad.

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11 months ago