My boyfriend woke me up to say he needs alone time, and he went to go to the skatepark. It's been hours since, and I had to be the one to text him to ask what's going on, because I started getting frustrated and anxious. I asked if he would come home soon. He said he will probably just go directly to work. I'm sorry, I'm feeling so sick. I am not used to this. I told him how I am not a normal person when it comes to this. I can't take it. I'm so used to at least spending some time with him. So the fact that he needs alone time all of a sudden to me just means he doesn't want to be around me. And it makes me feel like shit. I am freaking out so bad, I am not having a good time. He asked if I am not used to letting someone have their space. It doesn't matter what I say, I don't even want to respond, he won't get it. It doesn't matter how many times I explain the way I perceive things, they expect me to be normal. I am not. I feel abandoned and I can't help it. I hate myself. I wish I didn't feel or perceive things the way I do.

Please, I just need some help. I don't know how to communicate this. I'm feeling so embarrassed. I just want to hurt myself.