The title says some of it. I am currently at a really good trauma program and maybe I can convince the family therapist to agree with me to tell my parents that it is a horrible idea to kick me out because of splitting. Like, it is to be expected. Doesn't mean its okay, but it should be expected. And they want me to find an apartment all by myself and then don't like it when I find one because its "too expensive" but if they want me to live in a one bedroom where the suicide rate increases exponentially for $454 a month, happily. And they don't have any money to help me pay for it, and they're just throwing me to the wolves. I'm fucking 18! I spent the majority of my adolescence in programs so I know just about nothing about anything and they just want to throw me into it all at once?!!? And they call themselves "good parents". Good parents don't do this. Good parents understand that splitting is like crying: no matter how much you don't want to do it, its gonna come. As stated before, doesn't make it okay though. I know that. I just want to be supported and feel cared about, but all they do is kick me out. And my dad was always the one to pick me up when my mom kicked me out when I was a little, single-digit kid. Now, he's just like her. I have no safe people.

And it gets worse: I asked what would happen if I find an apartment but I can't move in until early or mid November, and he said that I'd have to find somewhere to live. If worse comes to worst, I have to live in a fucking homeless shelter. All because of my fucking BPD.

There is another aspect to all of this, but I won't bore you all.

Sorry for this rant.

This all just makes me soooo suicidal and hopeless. Does anybody have any advice or anything? I would really appreciate people giving me advice. I don't know how much longer I can deal with all of this emotional pain.