Long post, first half is the important bit: thought being attractive was a fairly ubiquitous thing. I am (23amab) extremely skinny due to a recently defeated eating disorder (💪💪💪) and 5’8”. But I’m undeniably super pretty and get told as much on the regular by complete strangers. I seem to be an absolute heart throb to some and laughable as a point of attraction to others. I see this on dating apps where I will get zero matches for weeks and then a random influx of incredibly attractive girls without changing anything on my profile. I absolutely see it in person and am dumbstruck by the complete hot and cold feedback I get. Is it really just the body type? Like is it that serious to people? The only people I do attract always turn out to be wildly mentally unstable and manipulative, even over the apps where it’s really just pictures. Something about my face screams that I’ll accept and enable whatever bullshit people throw at me. They are also always rich and bisexual?? Like. Every single time.

These are a lot of massively arrogant descriptors as I don’t know how to expound without giving a full confident picture of myself: I have the six pack, the jawline, lashes that are the envy of every girlfriend I’ve had, cheekbones so high and pronounced that when I’ve had stage makeup done, no artist I ever worked worn would even try and contour because “oh you’re just immaculate, gotcha”, have a great smile always on my face, I do not know a stranger, and make easy friends with everyone around me. I’m outwardly very confident and outgoing, have everybody around me constantly laughing, always doing my best to show kindness with the number one thing I hear from people being “you’re so fucking sweet”, I am extremely well read and adore interesting conversation, extremely musically talented with a conservatory BM in music composition, and an accomplished bartender, now a manager at a world class establishment creating menu cocktails which is unheard of for my age and lack of experience, and I can only land psychos. Who are the only people that are ever attracted to me. I am not expecting to be seen as hot by everybody by any means. But why is it ONLY people I could never allow myself to be with long term the ones who find me physically attractive. Legit just surface level- I’m not expecting anyone to be falling in love with me on the spot. wtf is the problem?? I get the feeling that I’m treated like “one of the girls” with nearly all of my close friends my whole life have been women. I don’t get it. This might be too much of an ask with this limited context, but am I missing something? And I swear I do not brag about myself like this EVER XD I’m no ass. Just confused.