I had a super good time with an old friend today. Hung out with them for about 2 hours then when I got home I felt even more lonely/depressed than when I woke up.

I'm just so mentally exhausted. I don't want to be like this anymore. I have an assessment tomorrow for IOP and I hope it works out because I can't keep going like this.

My SO is so confused because I did have fun. And now the fun is gone. He makes me happy but I can't stay happy all the time. I feel like a huge disappointment to everyone. Why can't my emotions be more stable?

I'm in therapy and see a psychiatrist. Still haven't been showering everyday though. Been better about binge eating. I'm just a lonely fucking person even with people around me.