I’ve had issues advocating for myself for years. I stopped seeing doctors a decade ago because I never felt like I was listened to or being taken seriously, everyone kept telling me it was all just in my head. I started seeing doctors again at the beginning of this year because I got sick of feeling like I’m drowning in every emotion I have. I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve been seeing my PCP and chiropractor and trying to feel better physically and mentally. I finally got in with a psych medication management doctor and she re-diagnosed me, I’m not bipolar type 1. I have BPD. It makes sense, it fits. I have mild scoliosis, numbness in my legs, pain in my back. Chiropractor wants an MRI, PCP wants to send me to physical therapy and put me on meds that’ll counteract my psych meds. I have to make a choice and I don’t know what to do. Aren’t doctors supposed to be the ones who tell us what to do? Aren’t they the ones who are supposed to tell us what will help? My partner (FP) agrees with the chiropractor, FP is mad at my PCP and let’s their feelings show in their words. Just the tone of voice and the frustration of FP sent me over the edge, I broke down in tears because I don’t know what to do. I just want to do the right thing. I just want to feel better, even though I know deep down there isn’t a “better”… I just want to stop feeling like I’m drowning in myself.