My friend just announced her wedding date a week ago, and they have picked my birth date Now, I am someone who started caring more about herself and her birthday, since I self harmed and has had suicide attempts, and I wasn’t ready to share that date with their special day, because I wanna be there for her, fully But I reacted badly, and said I wasn’t okay with it, then I kinda was, and then I was not at all…and now she needs time, and said that everybody leaves and that we were never really friends, which I don’t believe, but I have reacted badly before and this was very important for her to understand my feelings about risking backing out before the wedding, or hurting her incredibly, like I’ve done to other girlfriends before I have been diagnosed with BPD for a while now, and just got out of the mental hospital, and I am all over the map, I feel like I’ve hurt her incredibly already by speaking up about my feelings, and I don’t like this, but I also don’t wanna hurt her