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What Are Some Boundaries You've Set in Place?
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So, I would like to start this post out by saying that I haven't been officially diagnosed with BPD yet, but I do have a psychiatrist appointment in like two weeks to get that clarified (I am nervous lol). Anyway, for some context, I have a close friend, one of which that I have known and been very close to for several years now. Now, I haven't really had a lot of long-lasting close friendships--especially to the levels of closeness that me and this particular friend are.

About a year ago, this friend and I had somewhat of a falling out for lack of a better term/phrase, with one of the key reasons being that I made them feel suffocated in our friendship sometimes. That is entirely on me, and I am more than willing to accept that fact. Initially, I regret to say that I did not necessarily react too well to her wanting space, but upon reaching out to apologize (and after making a realization or two as to WHY I had reacted in such a way--not that it excuses it, by the way), she called me and expressed interest in rekindling our friendship.

Much like any form of relationship, ours was not perfect, as there were times that I was rightfully upset by something she had done. But, at the end of the day, she is still one of the closest friends I have ever had the pleasure of making (and, thankfully, she is a good one too), and so I am more than ecstatic to resume our friendship after almost a year of minimal contact. Now, we have a FaceTime planned for this weekend. I have explained to her that, while still undiagnosed, I believe that I have BPD (or, at the very least, do tend to have tendencies of it), and something I've read both in other places and this subreddit is that maintaining healthy relationships with others helps with some set-in-stone boundaries. Telling her that, she seemed more than happy to agree, as neither of us would want to repeat what had happened between us originally.

With that all being said, I came here to ask of y'all: What are some boundaries that you have set in place with others in your life that have helped maintain relationships? Obviously, I know that context can be very important when it comes to these things, but I do think that seeing what others have put in place will help me with some of my own--especially as I tend to gaslight myself after expressing interest in something (something I really need to work on lol). Thank you in advance, and I appreciate every one of you guys on this sub :)

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1 year ago