I don’t want to drop the specific song just on the off-chance she ever somehow finds this subreddit, but… it’s not a pleasant song.

My FP has a public “feelings” playlist which is self-explanatory. I never thought to check it out until today. Most of them were songs that I know relate to her life.

I ended up finding one that describes me and our situation to a ‘T’ but it’s not a good thing. The vibe is judging someone and not wanting anything to do with them. I’m 99.9% sure she added it with me in mind because of how specific everything is in the song.

It comes across as she thinks I’m a terrible person.

We’ve been doing good lately. I’ve been regulating my emotions and working on my thought process. No arguments or anything bad in the last 2 months.

She hasn’t talked to me in couple of days because she’s out of town and busy probably, but I’m starting to get anxious.

I can’t stop thinking about that song or how she really feels about me. I know it’s a bad idea to bring it up. Right?

I’m just struggling because I feel so much shame and self-consciousness. There is a part of me that wants to just disappear forever among other negative thoughts.