I’m literally so done with everything. Right now I’m experiencing intense emotions and it doesn’t matter what I fucking do nobody cares about me. I got two job denials in one day😍😍 so bad. Nothing with any of the guys I’m taking to is working. I took a break from dating apps and I’m back and no one wants to link or hang out with me. I feel so alone. I feel like I truly have no one at all. I’m struggling to even finish my assignments due to all the rejections. I don’t even know why I even try. I just wish I can get run over by a car, bus or something or I can just die so that people can feel bad and wished they cared. I do believe in God and I’ve been looking for resources to see how being a Christian relates to BPD and there’s nothing. This disorder is so painful and nothing is getting better. I keep doing everything and I’m return I’m left ghosted or no one cares. My toxic job still wants my ass and I told them I’m not interested in coming back. I’m not sure what I can do. I’m really debating I’m dressing in all black and walking on to the road as there’s a bad intersection right across from me and I’ve heard many and seen terrible car accidents happen in my neighborhood all my life. Someone give me some hope and advice bc I’m so close to attempting again