So me (22 f) and my bf (22 m) have been in a relationship for a little more than a year and it's the first healthy and secure relationship I've ever been. He has always been really understanding of my BPD and he has been able to calm me down or make me feel better sometimes. He also has ADHD and autism, which means his communication skills are non existent at times. A few days ago we had a fight and I happened to split one him. I said some pretty hurtful stuff. One thing about me tho, I've never blamed an episode or my behavior towards him to my disorder. I always take the blame afterwards if I have crossed some kind of line. Two days later we're hanging out in my apartment and all of a sudden his mood changes and becomes kinda silent. I was asking him what's wrong and if I did something but he would say that everything's fine. Then I asked him if he feels good when he's with me and that's when he said it. "I think there's a possibility you're just a bad person". According to him, there's a possibility I've been lying to him for almost 2 years about my BPD in order to manipulate him and hurt him. It was the most horrible thing he could have said. I already think I'm the most awful human being because of the splitting, but hearing him say that himself? I don't know how to forget it. He apologized and knew he crossed the line, I know it's difficult for him to communicate properly but that was so over the line. I've never said anything like that and never would. Now I don't know what to do. Pleaase some advice? I don't want to break up with him but I'm so scared that he will always think that I'm a bad person everytime something happens.