I’m so lost at this point. My partner and I have been together 1.5years and have been friends much longer. He’s helped me through getting diagnosed with BPD and he’s my best friend. But we argue about the same things constantly. It’s always money, taking about moving out (we both live with our parents) or that we spent too much time together. We partially live together and have for over a year now. We spend a week at his place, then a week at mine. But every now and then (like every couple of months) he decides we spend too much time together and asks for space and we stay at our separate houses. But instead of just communicating this to me like an adult, he waits until I’m in a full BPD meltdown (usually because he has started distancing himself) and of course, I react badly. Now I don’t have a problem with us spending nights apart. We are young, we each have our own lives. But I just feel so disrespected when he decides to tell me how he feels, after he apparently has had it bottled up for months, when I’m in a highly vulnerable state. I always feel like the time we spend together isn’t quality time, and that he puts a lot more effort into his friends and hobbies. He says it is because he is tired and he thinks some time apart will fix things. I disagree. I don’t know whether I disagree because I genuinely believe that it won’t fix things, or because maybe deep down I’m just scared that he will realise he prefers being without me and he’ll realise he doesn’t need me anymore. I feel unhappy, just as he does, but I hold on because I want things to work. I love him and I’m terrified of losing him. I just feel like after my trauma I can never trust anyone and our fights have just really cemented this. I hate change and I hate feeling unsettled. He knows this. But He has ADHD so he struggles with plans. I just really don’t know where to go from here or how I should go about finding something that works for both of us. I want him to feel heard and to be able to have space, but I don’t want to feel isolated and like I’m going insane because he wants time away from me. I hate being in this constant cycle and feeling like we never get anywhere.