I'm 19 and I live with some of my closest friends. We all go to college together as well. But, because of my BPD I can get very erratic over small things. I hate that I do it and sadly these small things can make me to into a full episode very easily.

Recently I had one involving my roommates and I feel like our relationship is straining. I've felt like lately my relationship with one (who I see as my best friend) is getting worse.

Not to mention my birthday is coming up at the end of the month, and whenever I mention having a party on that day (my birthday falls on Halloween), it's ignored or just thrown around. But they all do stuff for their birthdays, why can't I do something?

I'm lost on what to do. I feel as if I'm suffocating and going to die if I don't solve this soon.