I (24F) have been on and off seeing someone (30M) for the last year and a half. I consider myself very self aware and always consider if my emotions are genuine or coming from a place of anxious attachment. Because our dynamic is more “situational” there is no consistency which in the past has made my symptoms more pronounced so in this case I deliberately try to remain as unattached as I possibly can to avoid the obsessiveness that often happens for me in romantic relationships (which is why I avoid them). We have never talked about anything that’s transpired between us or how we feel, so I’m never sure where he stands (and vice versa), but of course I have over time developed feelings for him and I believe it’s mutual but also can’t tell if that’s me trying to just feed my delusion. I allowed myself to feel close to him and the intimacy is there and I’ve welcomed it when we’re together and it feels extremely passionate and natural. I don’t have any interest in pursuing anyone else and my thoughts are always flooded with him. I want us both to be happy whether that’s together or apart. I feel like I love him but I also can’t really decipher “love” from having a FP or if there is a way to. Does anyone have any advice on how to start detattaching from a FP? I care about him and I think he cares about me too, but I think we’re both stubborn to show vulnerability first and it’s not healthy for me to not have consistency. We don’t talk regularly also hence the situational dynamic I mentioned before. We’re both adults and I feel like if a man felt the same way about me …. He would have made it known by now? Not saying it’s only his responsibility because it’s not, but as a woman I’d like a man to not be afraid to affirm his feelings for me if they exist too because that means something to be in terms of reassurance and security. I don’t know what to do. Do I just tell him how I feel when I get the chance or do I try to let it go and move on? Help!