I posted yesterday but nobody responded, and I have no one to talk to, so hopefully this one will work.

I was drunk and lost a fp because I got too emotional for no reason. I feel ashamed for my behavior, for texting him for 3 days and explaining myself and asking for reassurance. He never responded.

He meant a lot to me, and he was always good with me, but the dynamic of our fwb caused me so much pain and was affecting my moods extremely. No matter how hard I tried to be on the same page with him, something always triggered me. I wanted to make it work. I asked him to give me time to figure myself out, but he’s done with me. I know that’s for the best, I know it’s not meant to be. But I also know that he was absolutely my person, and my trauma got between us. This feels like hell. How can I ever forgive myself for being so terrible and ruining best things in my life?

I don’t know, just needed to vent but I also really need support because it feels so lonely. I’m scared and not sure how to cope.