I moved two years ago since then I made one really good friend who has become my favorite person, they don’t have bpd but also experience having favorite people and I was theirs. Over the last few months I’ve noticed a distance growing between us and I asked them about it tonight. They said that they get overly attached to people and that I’m no longer someone they are very obsessed with. I’m spiraling because I know what that means when I experience it. I’m no longer obsessed with someone so responding to texts feels more like a chore hanging out feels more draining and less fun and eventually contact doesn’t cease but it becomes limited because I don’t have the energy for them anymore even though I still care about them deeply. I’ve been in group calls with them and their other friends I have seen them getting more and more obsessive over one and it hurts knowing that I’ve already been replaced. I know that their other friends aren’t going to miss me and that now that I’m replaced they won’t either. I don’t have a lot of other friends only them so now I’m alone.

Im alone again the thing I’ve feared most since I met them. I don’t have friends I don’t have my therapist. I have no one and I can only blame myself. I want to die I feel broken I feel stupid for thinking I would ever stay important to someone.