I try and see my partner every weekend, we are semi long distance, so sometimes it can be hard, i just left her place after having a good weekend together, but every time without fail as say goodbye and leave i have a big breakdown and cry most of my way home, and even now im crying so hard and idk how to handle space away from my partner, i dont like it, i hate being away from her, i feel so empty and alone and scared, i just wanna be held and comforted, i feel like i did as a kid going to kindergarten and missing my parents, i just have these massive breakdowns and depressive episodes and when i get home my parents wonder why im sad and just tell me i cant feel like this all the time. Like ya, i wish i could just turn it off. I cant Stand how my brain thinks.

if anyone's has anything that helps I'd love to hear some advice or tips. I know the go to ones like, find some thing you enjoy outside of your partner, stay busy, journal, etc. Just idk when im feeling this way i lack any desire to do anything but wallow, nothing sounds fun and i just wanna sleep or be with them. Even knowing ill see them again should help but right now it isnt because they could change their mind, guess i really am an empty shell of a person.