So me and my ex have been trying to be friends and struggling .not due to romantic feelings. but because he's been distant. When we started dating he was hyperfixated on me due to his ADHD and when the hyperfixation went away we broke up and hes been very distant. And it has been insanely hard. And due to that and several things I've been building a lot of anger and resentment towards him. But I don't want that to keep growing. I want to not be angry at him and forgive him completely. So I want to send him this message

"We need to have a deep heavy conversation. If we hope to continue as friends and to be close. You've said before that we go in circles with the same conversations and you're tired of the heavy stuff and you want to leave it in the past and I do too, trust me, I want that just as much as you. I want to end those circles. But in our current state we can't. Because we go through those circles, but they're always incomplete, I can't properly express myself over text, and tones get misread. And plus you often end up forgetting to respond in the middle of it (not faulting you for it) and these emotions often get opened and unfinished and left to sit and rot. And that's why we keep going in these circles of emotions..so I want to sit down and call and have a calm thorough conversation. I want it to be a one and done thing. Sit down together, calmly, and allow for a safe space and tjme for BOTH of us to talk about anything we want to talk about. To express how we feel, and what made us feel that way, and to take that and learn and figure out how to move forward together. Because I have things I want to discuss with you, and I'm sure you have things in relation to me that would beneficial for us to talk about, and we could figure it out together. I'm sure it would be stressful, for both of us..I do not want to stress you out ever. I just want to be able to leave the past in the past and be done with the heavy stuff but in our current state. We cannot, I cannot. I'm nervous thinking about the call but I have faith it will be able to go well. If you allow for it..I am hoping you won't shoot me down..I am hoping you will allow for a space for us to just have this conversation and to communicate. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think it was our only hope at really being able to be close. Because there are wounds here left unattended, on both sides I'm sure, because this situation has caused me pain but I KNOW it has caused you pain as well..and I want to tend to them properly. For the sake of being able to hold you close and to be held close back..for the sake of our friendship because I have so much love for you and I so badly want to hear you laugh again but I fear that won't be able to happen unless we talk, because truth is I've been building resentment towards you the last 7 months, and I don't want it to build anymore, and I think a thorough, understanding talk could help stop it and take down any resentment my mind has built, and I cannot think of another way to stop it, unless it was like group therapy but I do not think we are that far gone at all lmaoo, I know we can handle this ourselves we just need the proper space for it. I know you have work today. I don't expect you to be down for a call today and you might need time to mentally prepare, as will i. But maybe tomorrow, or sometime this upcoming week. We can try and see if we can work something out..and then before hand, take some time to write down things we want to cover..things we both want to cover because I want to be able to hear from you too. And for the record, yes it will be emotional but I can promise you I will not yell, I will not raise my voice, I will not cuss you out or insult you, I never have and I never will. I can promise I will only bring understanding and listening and calm and my problem solving skills too cause I think those will be helpful. So can we do this ? Please ? For the sake of being able to make eachother laugh and explore new video games together and to share in our passions for art. Please help me to help us. I have so much love for you (ex name), and I so badly want you here in my life, and I hope you want me in your life enough to work through this with me. 🤍"

I wrote it a few times before and I keep trying to shorten it. But I think this is the shortest I can get it. If I just ask "hey can we talk over the phone about some stuff" I'd likely get rejected, and a large part of why is because he doesn't like talking heavy stuff over the phone .which I understand but I feel it is necessary. So I just feel I have to completely elaborate and explain myself and everything so he can see why I want that and maybe not turn away. I was wondering how this message sounds to anyone else ? And what they think ? Or ways it could be shortened or altered ?