I feel like I've lost my marbles. I have been aware of my triggers, and had my BPD under control but boy howdy...this episode is a wild one.
I've started seeing someone, and if they were a "bad" person or weren't good for me I would walk away but the issue is me. I'm having irrational thoughts. I've assigned meaning to "lack of touching" (to be frank, i think I've made this one up because the amount of physical contact i get is within my normal wheel house), I've assigned meaning to no longer getting called during their breaks, I've assigned meaning to what I have perceived as a decrease in communication. And because of all this my brain is trying to convince me that any day now, my new partner is going to break up with me. There is a part of me that just wants to break down crying from all of the awful irrational thoughts. I know they're irrational but they won't stop

I feel broken. I'm scared to even voice these things to my partner (we've literally been dating for 2 weeks...this is a lot to handle within the first couple of weeks dating) and I know why. It isn't because of them. I recently had a situation with someone where I voiced how i was feeling and ended up apologizing due to how negatively they reacted. I just...I worry if I don't get this episode under control i'm going to loose another relationship due to my irrational self..
I don't know what to do