I’m 21F having dealt with symptoms of my bpd for a couple years now. I’m dealing with constant back to back episodes now and it’s really causing me to give up on life and trying. I’m alone all day every day. I had a very close friend who is my fp MIA because he has a girlfriend now. It’s hard we spent everyday together and now I’m an after thought to an after thought to him. Im drinking a lot more, I was clean off of drugs but Im back at it. There doesn’t seem like a lot of hope for me. Life has only seemed to get worse when the world assured me it’d get better. I have no money, shit grades, no prospect of a future or something worth living for. I wish I had the courage to end it all I really do, but I currently don’t. Now I just hope I’ll take something laced or be in a car accident to do it for me. I’m in so much emotional pain everyday. I have nothing.