Part of me thinks making this post is going to be a mistake, but I really hope it's not. And another part of me knows that downvotes won't actually kill me or really prevent me from finding whatever I'm looking for. Still, maybe there are places I haven't tried where I don't have to worry about the stupid or petty shit I get subjected to just for showing up or seeking something out.

For background: I'm a trans woman and lesbian. I've only dated or explored kink with cis women.

I've found that generally speaking, I'm "allowed" in sapphic spaces; but when I participate, 8 out of 10 times it's a negative karma experience, and sometimes end up having posts/personal ads in other subreddits then shared and downvoted as well. I won't drop specific subreddit names, but most are either lesbian-specific or primarily woman-focused (as is the case with subs relating to fem dommes, etc.). And no, I don't experience this negative behavior across the board, for which I'm grateful. It's just one of many things that's starting to wear me down as I continue seeking out partners to explore kink with.

I've tried apps like Tinder, Her, and Hinge to no avail. (I'm in VA if you're curious about my area). I'm also on Fetlife, but since joining the site in the summer of '23, I haven't had anything at all come from it besides men trying to follow/friend me.

I have no intention of giving up and perhaps this is simply another aspect of life/reality in which I need to develop a thicker skin, and I'm okay with that feedback. You wouldn't be wrong. That doesn't mean I deserve to have my time, wants, needs, or efforts diminished, and I'd rather explore spaces where that may not be as likely to happen (and maybe I'm kidding myself as a gay woman/trans woman in an objectively cis, heteronormative, and male-centric world, but stranger things, right...?).

Edit: I also just tried to use Feeld just now, but it seems heavily skewed towards poly/ENM and since you can't filter by "desires", I kind of tapped out pretty quick, lol.