So, I've known I was kinky for years, was in online spheres, and most recently in person for a little more than a year now. While I have made friends, as the title says I have struggled finding play partners. It's something I've been thinking abouy and lately feel as i its my kinks/what draws me to BDSM because I moved in the middle of that year and it's the same thing in my new city/scene.

While I am a bottom/sub, I am not much of a masochist. For me, I am way more into the psychological side of kink than the physical. Not that I don't have physical kinks, I do, but a scene that is purely or mostly revolves around impact isn't appealing to me at all. However, any time I've gotten to know a top/domme into similar kinks as me, (humiliation/degredation, service play, age play, etc.) they've always wanted to start with an impact scene first and do that a few times before getting into deeper scenes. They've always explained it's because those are more personal and emotional investment, which I understand. I have bottomed rope several times, but IME rope tops seem be exclusively rigger.

Anyone else relate to this? Have advice?