I want to wrestle you, get pinned, then give you attitude that you cheated by using your martial arts/military training.

Do you identify as Hondo (S.W.A.T. Series, Shemar Moore) or Aragorn (LOTR, Viggo Mortensen)? Then I might identify as yours. ;)

How is it already December? Gosh. What a year this has been.

If you’re anything like me, your eyes must be pretty tired at this point of reading through endless ads. Do me (yourself?) a favour and sit back for a moment? Roll your shoulders, return your neck to a neutral position. Perhaps have a sip of water? Right. You can take care of yourself, I know. I just want to look out for you, too. You deserve just as much attention and care, even if it’s from a different position coming from a sub.

My last ads on here were seven months ago. The text will largely remain the same; with various adjustments to reflect the more accurate info. Things have changed. I have changed.

There’s just one thing I’d like to ask before we move on: Can we be people, first and foremost? Yes, this is on a kink subreddit; and while kink IS a soul-deep need for me, I want us to be compatible as people, too. I’m looking for a partner that enjoys a domestic, safe life with me – with an underlying sense of spice and hierarchy. Naturally, that can and will escalate into more explicit territory. But this ad isn’t for the horny mind. It’s for the “I want someone to settle down with”-mind.

Take your time. I will, too.

Let me begin with the most defining aspect of my life: I’ve lived with debilitating chronic pain for 21 years. (Started at age 5) No doctors could help me; I spent two decades as a medical guinea pig in search for pain relief. I held on with fleeting entertainment and tried to make my miserable existence more fulfilling with fantasies of a D/s relationship or hobbies, pets and art. With a life dominated by pain (no pun intended), I was bedridden, on meds, and just waiting for life to either end or to get better.

1.5 years ago, it finally got better. Not good, but better.

I spent this past year trying to teach myself how to “human” alone, out of nowhere. I’d describe it as having been in a coma for 21 years and waking up to a new world. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. There are so many things I’d like to experience. And I don’t want to do it alone.

While I do have an education, I was never able to keep any job for very long due to my health. That will likely never change. I am currently trying to turn my creativity into a source of income. I have a solid social media following in cosplay and costuming (400k followers across the platforms). This September, I finally dared to try monetization via Patreon. Perhaps you could take me by the hand and help me along the way. Setting up a business is hard! Who knows - you could even be my manager, so to speak? Let me handle the art, while you handle the business of it all? Ah, wishful thinking…

My vanilla interests include LARP, cosplay, written roleplay, casual gaming (Warframe, Ark, Monster Hunter World, RDR2, Raft), movies (though no horror unless you can babysit me for 3 months straight!), audiobooks, my cat and a newly purchased motorcycle which I've been cruising around on for a few months this summer! I live in the country famous for mountains, chocolate and expensive watches – and it’s magical to explore its roads on two wheels.

As for my personality; I often get mistaken for a Dom type in the way I present myself. I’m witty and intelligent, love banter and teasing challenges. If you care for personality types, I’m an Aries and ENFP (perhaps INPF?). My attachment style is somewhere between anxious and fearful-avoidant. I don’t allow myself to get attached to people easily, but when I do, I struggle with separation anxiety and abandonment issues (which had been systematically used against me in the past for cruel control). But I’m diligently working through these hiccups with my therapist. I promise.

Physically, I’m 1.53m (5ft 0in) tall and like to describe my body type as “soft athletic”. I put on muscle easily, but it comes and goes in 6-months-spurts of motivation. My partners never managed to keep up with their own fitness, which hindered my own desire to keep up the work. My hair is buzzed short on the sides and spiked up with dyed white tips on the top; my eyes are blue-green and have two freckles in the iris which people often think are pretty cool.

Still with me? I hope so.

If you capture my mind, I will yield easily. Dominance doesn’t always have to be loud or forceful. Do you know Shemar Moore in his role as Hondo on the S.W.A.T. series? His balance of charm and authority is wonderful.

With my future partner, I would wish for someone financially stable. I will likely never be able to contribute a lot financially. As much as that hurts my ego; it’s my reality given my health and history. Someone around my age, ideally older but not surpassing 10 years. Either partaking in my interests or with a healthy tolerance to let me enjoy them and listen to my rambles. Definitely taller than me, though that’ll be easy! (I’m tiny. Be taller.) Ideally toned/muscular and not with too much body hair (beards are fine, chest not too much). Childless and not interested in having children. (Breeding is desired; impreg not, haha.) You’ll get bonus points for martial arts skills to either share with me as a hobby, or to use against me in play-fights.

Here's how I described the ideal partner to a friend of mine recently: “Someone who's effortlessly dominant in a way that holds an air of authority even just from his body language; but is aware and sensitive enough not to come across as intimidating if the situation doesn't call for it. Like, I imagine he'll be able to mingle with friends and family alike, hold intelligent conversations and witty jokes - but there would still be that squaring of his shoulders if the energy of the room shifts.”

I’m very attentive. I have high empathy and pick up on tiny cues. A shift of balance, change of pitch, the twitch of a finger or a particular look. If attuned to you, I’ll be easy to lead and eager to please. If I resist or brat, I am likely struggling with shyness and need more of your authority so I can settle down my thoughts and give in. I’ll admit; I can be a challenging smartmouth that will twist and turn in witty ways to get out of the vulnerable position of submission. But, ultimately, that’s what I crave. That’s when the deeply hidden little side shines through; buried so deeply that I can even slip into petspace since it’s easier to excuse an animal to be submissive rather than a human. (In my mind.)

However, I’m not only little. Some of my kinks can reach quite far into edge territory (of course minding RACK, SSC and enthusiastic consent). I’m happy to dive into these topics further if the other aspects of our lives overlap enough to consider a partnership.

If you feel like reaching out via DM or chat here on Reddit, please be so kind and add a picture (or several). Yes, there is more to attraction than visual aspects; but I’ve had my share of being “catfished” and have had enough heartache from it. I will be able to share pictures and videos (SFW) immediately, too.

You’ll likely notice I’ve hidden key information within the post. I trust that, if you reach out, you’ll have had the patience to read through everything carefully. Life with me will require patience and attentiveness. If this message was too much, you’re free to move on to easier prey. Had I mentioned I like challenges?

Please note: I'm looking for a partner - not flings. Please go ahead and find easier prey if you respond to a 1.4k word essay with "hi" and no image.