I am back once again with another personal ad, and this just might be the last one. I can never seem to find what it is I am searching for, at least not on here, maybe not anywhere. But I’ll venture down this road again one last time – I know there is much to be found in this ever blue and ever deep sea that is the internet. I think after all this time I know what it is that speaks to me, a balance found in spreadsheets, sexiness, silliness, and kink. And I am hoping you will come on this journey with me if you dare to care about this little thing, I call myself, the thing that is really not so little.

This search, this endeavor is something I have been on for years… you can see the evidence of such in my post history. From that, if you dare to read it, you can probably tell I’m a complicated gal. But hey, that’s where the most fun comes, isn’t it? In something complex and hard to figure out, but well worth the journey. If you go down that rabbit hole far enough, you might even catch some glimpses of me or even the full picture depending on where you click. So, before we get into what I want why don’t I paint a better picture of who I am:

For now, you can call be ‘A’ and what is probably the most important thing to note about me is that I am intense sometimes what other people would call high strung. Perpetually anxious, a little neurotic, and definitely weird. I feel fully and wholly and never water anything down – I don’t think I can, this is just the way I operate. I am almost always overly caffeinated and under-stimulated, and always looking for what’s next. I’ll be 30 in a few short months and am entering a phase of my life where I feel “reborn”. That might also be due to the fact that I’ve finally found proper treatment for my mental illness and neurodivergency (yes, I have both). A manic pixie dream girl with a little ADHD. If you can’t tell by now I am a writer and a dreamer… I dream up all these creative worlds and scenes, and I pen them into oblivion until there is nothing left. I am quirky and quick witted. I love sci-fi a la Philip K. Dick and speculative fiction like Vonnegut. I LOVE horror movies and novels, drinking tea and reading about anything to do with social theory or the occult – and sometimes their intersections.

I like many things sexually but I’m really here looking for that one. But TPE, humiliation, anal only, orgasm denial and pain as a general concept are a few of my other favorites. I love to write about my sexual experiences and often create certain imagery of them too. I am wild and untamed, preferring not to be tied down to any one person, but don’t be mistaken, I will give all of myself to connection in a way you probably have never experienced before. I do not classify myself in any one direction but if I HAD to, I would probably call myself a sub leaning switch with exhibitionist tendencies. I love love love taking pictures of myself to stimulate and arouse, and I love coupling my sensual little words with them too. Within me there is such variety that I am almost never satisfied with just one thing, but I’d like to think I can find something that will stimulate me for a little while, maybe even until it turns to consume.

And I suppose maybe that’s where you come in. I am looking for someone to take on a journey with me through kink and written word. A disciplinarian and scholar who can woo me with the sweetest of sentences. I have lost my way in this structure, these rudiments of life, and I need someone to come in and help me get back on track while also tickling that part of my brain that nourishes my soul and wets my panties. I want to connect first slowly and then all at once to jump into something only the two of us can create. I have a general structure for the specific D/s “program” I want to create, essentially everything boils down to a spreadsheet or two. And I want someone to step in and help me craft and augment it to fit the two of us for however long that feels good. It really is your usual thing: rules, structure, bedtimes, punishments, rewards and the like. Though all of this comes secondary to what comes from the mind, so I’d like to start there first. I am highly sexual so chances are that will come up quickly too, but I only want to venture on this endeavor if it feels right.

As for you, I don’t need much. Someone within a reasonable time difference, someone around my age or older (but no more than 10 – 15 years), gender is irrelevant and so are looks – in fact I don’t really want to see any of you, but oh you will see plenty of me, if all goes right. Computer literate and apt with spreadsheets, particularly google docs will help this move more smoothly. Not afraid of voice communication (calls or voice chats), into the same or similar kinks and willing to play by my rules initially. A writer or someone who can at least put on that cap, and maybe most importantly, someone who can dedicate the time to this that it deserves.

I doubt you exist out there but if you do, craft me a delicious first message, take your time, and I promise to do so in return.

-A