Hi!

I'm certainly questioning myself. I'm biologically male, and but in terms of social roles, I have complaints against roles for both men and women, but also love certain aspects for both. For men, I dislike toxic masculinity, for women, I dislike that they are not as encouraged as men to pursue STEM or other fields traditionally considered masculine. For both, I dislike how the traditionally feminine role of staying at home or of not being passionate is underrated. Like, each of us is an individual, each of us should be encouraged to do what we feel is okay for us, perhaps only limited by financial constraints. It's not wrong for a girl to want to be a stay-at-home woman, it's not wrong for a boy to want to be a stay-at-home man, but it is also the case that doing so can result in financial dependence on others. I think I might start identifying as genderfluid or agender, I don't know.

I'm happy to wear male dresses. I do find female dresses cute to look at, but arousing to wear. So, it's not something I have a focus on. I like the physical strength of the male body, but I also like how the female body looks. I also sometimes wish I had female genitals because my love for crotch ropes and multiple orgasms just seems more easily accomodated in that structure than male genitals. I find it irritating when I have facial hair, but having it on someone else can be sometimes hot. But I also like having sensual access to the skin of the face and neck. I like the looks of long hair usually associated with women, but I also like how the usually shorter hair of men is easy to maintain. Can you make something out of this?

I also find the concept of "coming out" a bit alien, because I can't get why social acceptance and understanding - in non-dating scenarios - has to depend on one's gender or sexual orientation. So, well, after writing this, I don't think I have any greater desire to "come out" than before. It is probably just a reflection of who I am for my own self. "Because you are a boy", "because you are a girl", "boys don't do that", "girls don't do that", irks me out now but has irked me out before writing this. And yet I find the dichotomy between positive masculinity and positive feminity in terms of yin-yang as well as domination-submission fairly attractive, yet independent of one's sex or gender. It is okay for a man to be feminine, and it is okay for a woman to be masculine. It is okay for any person to mix and match any subset of masculine and feminine qualities as they find appropriate, and so long as it doesn't harm others or their own selves.

After reading a book on Utilitarianism, I guess I understand why all of that sounds quite natural to someone leaning towards Utilitarianism, but can sound quite alien to some others. Utilitarians seemed to have advocated for gender equality for a fair while, with no more reason than "because it makes more people happier" or "because it increases the well-being of more people".

Okay, long enough rant and psueudo-philosophical discussion! Let's get back to myself and who I am looking for!

I'm a grad student from Asia but not east-Asia. I don't know where I'll be living 10 years down the line, so I am neither looking for anything long-term or IRL. So, it will online, potentially short-term, preferably long-term.

I'm not looking for TPE or anything 24x7. Bondage, domination-submission, is more of something that is a break-from-day-to-day-life for me, we can have occasional 1-2 week sessions, but usually it will just be a few hours every week. So, nothing 24x7.

I am looking for a friend, an equal, someone who could care for me, and someone who I could care about. I want us to have a safe space for each other. I want us to have a life outside BDSM. I want us to know each other as individuals, and not merely as someone who control each other's actions and orgasms.

My kinks inlude bondage, tickling or ASMR light touching, orgasm control, hypnosis, HFOs, blindfolds, sensation play, crotch ropes, light nipple rubbing/tickling. Limits: oral, anal, my genitals (did I mention I can do and prefer HFOs?), scat, gore, piss play, TPE, pictures. I'm also into the aesthetic side of bondage, you know the rope dresses, karadas, shibari, kinbaku, whatever it is called! I identity as a demisexual but not demiromantic; so connection is a big deal for me, though it can be instantenous if we click :).

Other than being a grad student, I do have other projects beyond the masters' one, so things aren't monotonic either! But of course, I do take breaks. Recently, I resumed gaming, specifically through Honkai Impact 3rd - thanks to a Sword Art Online obsession a few months ago. So, yes, I sometimes go in and out of anime, most recently it was SAO. Earlier it was Naruto and FMAB. Would love to watch* Fullmetal Alchemist (pre Brotherhood) with you if we click! A few months ago, I had caught onto Servants of the People; and before that had gotten into MCU for a few weeks. Other than work and gaming and anime and series and movies, I just enjoy spending silent (or chatty!) time with people I adore; so be sure to be up for talks!

If you have come this far, very thanks for bearing with me! Now just so I could separate the good doms from the desperate doms, if you want to strike up a conversation, please start it with "IREADYOURPOST".

Thank you again, and have a nice day! Hoping you find who you are looking for!