"Listen, lady, What's the GF for, huh? Daddy Domme?" Well I'll tell ya, what you're lookin' at is a bona fide jar o' Smuckers peanut butter and jelly what's all stripey down the sides, you know? I'm two in one, and you can use peanut butter pronouns or jelly, it don't bother me none. I'm Crunchy peanut butter as concerns my cock and balls. I have lamb chops, and I'm cute as hell. So it helps if you're bi, is really what we're lookin' at here. Moving on!

I, personally, am very funny. No two ways about it, after the awkward getting to know you phase, I'm gonna keep you laughing. I will laugh you right outta them jeans. Or whatever pants you wear. Jeggings. Overalls, even. I'm quick with word play, because...

I'm the smartest person I know. And arrogant, but honest. Despite the vernacular I employed to write this post (which honestly kinda snuck up on me), I'm pretty fuckin' word good. I used to be a linguist in the army. I went to army school that had the second highest fail rate (after bomb blow uppers) and succeeded without trying. If I wasn't so goofy and like, nonchalant, it'd be intimidating.

Oh but I can be intimidating. I've got the tools and the disposition to inflict pain. I'm into impact and electrostim, and both simultaneously. I've got the wit, and the creativity to humiliate and degrade you. I wanna make you feel real bad, if it makes you feel real good. That last clause it the key to the whole thing.

Curiosity, conversation and consent are the cornerstones (I'm really fucking good at alliteration, see above) of a healthy BDSM relationship. I never leave home without them. So let's talk and be responsible and develop a relationship of mutual trust and respect.

Also there's more that I'm into but the segues didn't really permit it so, whatever. We're all gonna share our BDSM test and Kink List anyway so no sense in whatever. For clothes on activities, I'm into D&D and like Star War and nerd shit like that. Dork. I also like to rock climb, although I canceled my membership in the beginning of the pandemic and haven't restarted it. Such is life. I'm a music snob with incredibly specific tastes. I mostly like punk music, but I don't like most punk music.

I'm genderfluid, in case that first paragraph is fucking nonsense.