[49f4m]#US/Midwest. #IRL

Am I too old to just now be realizing that this is what I need, what I crave? I need a caregiver who will love me despite the fact I am SEVERELY broken. I have massive self esteem issues and insecurities. Depression and anxiety make these worse. I can tell you more about my history in a private message.

I am looking for a soft /pleasure Daddy Dom/caregiver to comfort me, train me, and help build me. I tend to fall hard and fast, and as I need a lot of reassurance and positive reinforcement, I am guessing I would be a "clingy" girl.

I love pet names and definitely flourish with praise and compliments. I feel this warmth build inside when I'm called a pet name, and it makes me smile. I crave affection and touch.

I want my Daddy to want to hold me when I cry or have my bad anxiety days. To want him to want to reassure me that I will be ok. I want him to want to be someone to lift me up, encourage me. I want my Daddy to sit under the stars with me, to laugh with me on good days and to encourage me when I am unsure.

I want nothing more than to belong to someone knowing he loves me for who I am, faults and all. I don't think anyone has ever loved me, not really. As I am looking for long term, a connection is a must. Also, since I am new to this, I would like to ease into the talk / irl after getting to know you, Daddy, and seeing if we click. Please be patient with me. I promise I'll be a good girl.

I would love for my daddy to spoil me, as I have never had that. I've always had to pay for my own dates. It would be really nice to be shown appreciation and affection.

I'm not into age play,at least I don't think so, but do like the daddy /caregiver dynamic of giving over some contol and being taken care of. I like pet names, praise and VERY much want to please my partner.

I like to adult color, shetch occasionally, work with clay, crochet, diamond paint, artsy stuff. I read- true crime, fictional crime novels, fantasy. I like nerdy and geeky things: scifi, some PC games, board games. I also like competition shows, especially anything artistic or hand made related. Horror movies are great, but I may need to hold on to you, Daddy, when I get too scared.

I have always been a "pleaser" and often didnt reach climax because my partner just didn't care. I've also been hurt during sex( like have to see the doctor hurt), with my partner not caring enough to see if I was ok.

I am a white woman who is short 5'4" and fat, though I have lost 20lbs. I promise, daddy, I'm working on it. I really, really hate myself right now, and need your help to see the good in myself, daddy.

I find that even though I'm overweight, I am attracted to white younger (37-54) men with thin to lightly muscular builds. I prefer dark hair, and a goatee and dimples are a huge turn on. I quit smoking and cannot stand the smell now.

I am extremely vanilla and would like to explore some kinks. I find I like being told what to do in bed, I like the idea of forced orgasms/ orgasm control/denial, some light bondage may be ok, once I learn to trust. Also open to possibly of light spankings/impact play/ sensory play. I may be open to some anal play, with the right daddy. While I may be open including a third party, I do NOT want to be the third. I want to be the most important person to my daddy. I think the free use term- if I'm understanding that correctly is appealing too. Dirty talk definitely a turn on. I don't really know what else is out there; as I said I'm pretty vanilla.

Hard NO's- fecal, urine, blood, children, animals, vomit,fisting, severe degregation- I have enough self esteem issues, sucking dick after anal, or being fucked after anal-without a thorough washing are also a no ( if you are the right daddy. )!

As have never had children, I have always been tight, and since it's been so VERY long, well it's super tight now. I have also been told I am very good at giving head. Again, I've always been a pleaser. I should point out I don't usually swallow, but have done so when I loved my partner. So if we get there, I would be willing to do this if it pleases you, daddy.

I have been alone a LONG time. I haven't been kissed or touched in so so long. I would like this to lead into long term/marriage. I want to find my best friend and confidant, someone who knows everything about me, and who shares everything about themselves to me. and if that person happens to want to control me and care for me...well I think I'm ok with that. I do want an IRL relationship, and would be willing to relocate in time. I have a bit of a complicated living arrangement, and will discuss with you privately, Daddy.

If I maybe seem like what you are looking for, Daddy, please find me. I'm so lonely. It's been so long since I've been kissed, touched, held, and we'll, you know, Daddy. Please find me. I promise I'll be a good girl.

***" Trying this again. I've tried twice and never got to the point of meeting the person who claimed me. First- once we decided to try- he was too busy with work and didn't have time for me. Second one- we got very close to meeting, but due to unforseen circumstances, he can no longer sustain a relationship.

Both times this happened, I break a little more. I shared parts of myself with them that I haven't shared with anyone. Desires. Turn ONS. I was completely open and raw I thought I could trust them, and they broke me more instead. I know this isn't their fault, life got in the way, but I'm feeling as if I'm not worth fighting for, or that I even fit into this world or the vanilla world.

Please come find me, my forever daddy. Please help me see the good in myself.