I swear they always forget to take the pickles off my burger, and frankly, I'm sick of it! I need a woman who will unabashedly tell that stupid waiter off! I mean, it probably wasn't their fault. It was an honest mistake at the least. It might've been the cook that made the mistake, not the waiter. I'll just take the pickles off, it's really not a big deal. But if you want to say something, that would be nice too.

Wow, what an intro! This guy is super creative and funny, probably even cute, I should send him a message - is probably what you're thinking right now. Well, I would love that, but feel free to read the rest of my post too!

Generic Self-description:

• I like to think I'm a pretty easy-going guy, smart, funny, in good shape, and obviously very modest.
• I'm a mere 5'11 but I'd probably be over 6'0 in heels, around 170 lbs, slim/athletic, blonde hair, blue eyes.
• On the quieter side, but wouldn't consider myself shy. Unless you start teasing, because then words don't work anymore.
• Hobbies include: sports, video games, working out, the occasional anime, and hanging with friends.
• Reading is kind of my nerdy secret so promise not to tell anyone, okay? Love getting lost in a big fantasy series.
• Special skills include: telling lame jokes, laughing at said lame jokes, ability to blush when teased, and embarrassing myself for your amusement :)

The Kinky Stuff:

My interests lie mostly on the softer side of domination, but a little sadism never hurt anyone. Wait, I mean...

• Bondage - tie my hands up while we cuddle or leave me hogtied for hours - both sound fun.
• Tease and Denial - Big fan of being teased. The denial part doesn't sound as nice, but I guess that isn't up to me.
• Orgasm Control - Kind of goes with the teasing and denying.
• Service/Tasks - A big part of kink for me is making my partner happy. I'd love to do things that make your life easier, or give you a laugh, or just because you said so.
• Spanking/Impact - I think a bit of pain could be fun.
• Collars sound great, would love to wear one someday.
• Definitely open-minded about trying most kinks.
• I am almost more interested in hearing YOUR fantasies. Part of the excitement for me is not knowing what you’re going to think of next. Not to say that I want you to do all the work – I understand that I need to communicate and contribute too. The thought of combining our interests to create a fun dynamic for both us sounds amazing to me.

Hard Limits:

• Toilet/scat - just not for me
• 24/7 slave - listen lady, I've got a life too! (kind of!)
• Extreme pain/blood - ouch
• Forced bi/cuckolding - Not particularly interested in involving another guy
• Strange, illegal things... idk what I'm saying just nothing too crazy

What I'm Looking For:

• Ideally, I want to find someone to connect with and start an IRL relationship. I want someone I can talk and laugh with everyday, to take on dates and watch movies, to hang out and go on adventures with. However, Reddit is probably a longshot to find something like that. Honestly, I'd be happy to just talk and get to know some people and see where things go.
• I would like to swap pictures once we're both comfortable doing so. No rush, but I think it's important to know what each other looks like. Just need to confirm that you're not secretly a dude trying to blackmail me. A basic description at first would be appreciated.
• Obviously the BDSM dynamic is partially what I’m looking for, otherwise I wouldn’t be posting here. More importantly though, is someone that I can really connect with on a personal level.
• I would prefer someone between the ages of 20-29. This isn't a hard limit though. If you're slightly outside that, I could make an exception for the right person.
• You must be a 6ft tall Amazon Goddess whose only purpose is to fulfill my every fantasy. You need to make enough money to support us both so that I don't have to work or do anything. My only job is to be submissive and that should be enough to satisfy you. On top of that, you should also be able to tell that I am joking.

If my post didn't put you to sleep, feel free to send me a message/chat! I've met some great people on here in the past, unfortunately I just haven't found the person that I click with. Hopefully third time's the charm!