You know what it means to be committed to your partner. You know what it means to be in love. And you can't picture a relationship in which you aren't subordinate to the one you adore, supplicative to a man who's as devoted to taking care of you as you are to him. You see how it all fits.

But we're talking about marriage. It feels good to think of following your boyfriend or dominant or Master, but when you think of him as your husband, it takes on a whole new dimension of meaning. You can be a good submissive and a sweet servant and a loving girlfriend, but being his wife means all of that and more.

And you know how capriciously others treat the institution. It doesn't mean to everyone what it means to you, and that's more than the matter of forever. You’ve always felt the measure of a wife is her husband’s happiness. You make yourself your own secondary concern. You objectify your future. You inculcate your wifeliness. Where other women dream of marriage, you fetishize it. It's for him, after all, which means you are, too.

However, this isn't the 1950s. You have a career, friends, a life outside the home. And when you've read the posts and profiles of people who want to indulge their domestic dreams similarly to you, the fantasy is beautiful but you can't imagine it as compatible with who you are. Your life is too full of other things. It doesn't feel sustainable.

Even more than that, you're not simple. You're a feminist, conflicted or not. You deserve respect. You know what it would mean for a man to treat his wife the way you wish you could be treated, and though you know men's hearts can be as complicated as yours, you think of finding one whose complexity parallels your own and fear you're asking too much. It doesn't feel realistic.

Worst of all, who in the world would want to start with this as a goal? With all the ways it could go wrong, who these days would choose such a specific vision over something casual and compromising and exploratory? What kind of person would have a road map in place and the wherewithal not only to guide you and himself along it, but to make changes when they were needed without sacrificing the destination? It doesn't feel achievable.

A lot of logistical issues, and it's easy to miss the solution. If he'd already found you and you were already his, how would you solve this?

You'd ask him.

He'd tell you that the kind of man you need is already the one you've wanted. He's kind and wise, patient and funny, strong and generous and passionate. He doesn't want to reduce you to a sitcom wife, but to uplift you to be his wife. He works his hardest to give you a husband you admire, one you feel natural in serving and following, one who is as far above you in your heart as you've always wanted a dominant to be in your dynamic. He doesn't just make your hopes appreciable. He makes them possible.

You don't need a white picket fence. You need an arm to cling to, a hand on your ass, a face to look up to in reverence. You need your constancy and worthiness to be outshone by his own. You need your voice to matter to him as much as your deference, and for him still to have the final word. You need to have a place and to know it's with him, for him, for always. You need to be his.

It's sustainable. It's realistic. It's achievable. It all fits.

Tl;dr: Insightful man seeks smart, self-aware woman for realistic life-long TPE relationship. Please inquire via PM for so, so many more details.