You're a strong woman. It's not a platitude for you. You're healthy. You're accomplished. You have your life together. Things aren't perfect, but they are good, and you've worked hard to make them that way.

You've done the same with yourself. You aren't the girl you used to be – you're the sort of woman that girl used to look up to. You're clever and funny, capable and compassionate, driven and insightful and complete. You deserve respect and you demand to be treated with it. You know your worth.

You can sense a "but" coming. There isn't one. All of this is true.

It's also true that you don't feel those ways when you think about your ideal relationship. With him, the him you want to follow, you feel small and insufficient, like you don't measure up. He makes you feel inferior, not as an act, but because of who he is. Where you're compassionate, he's generous. Where you're insightful, he's wise. Where you're good, he's better.

You doubt yourself, not out of impostor syndrome, but because he shows you by example how much more there is to be. You strive to earn his esteem even if you feel like you can't possibly be his peer. You admire him because he has all your virtues and more, and being at the feet of a man like him feels right. He takes nothing away from you or your achievements, but rather helps and guides and supports you as you become a better version of yourself. For him.

You want him to see both the valuable side of you and the inferior one, and to cherish both. You want him to inspire you to greatness and to love you in your subordination. You want to know that he can accept all of you, honestly and wholly, without being intimidated or overwhelmed by the dichotomy because he contains a larger version of it within himself.

Being his means being known and loved for both halves of yourself. You need him to honor you for what you do well and to humble you for where you fall short. You're both versions of yourself, one woman with two faces you can't present to the whole world. Just to him.

You can't have it both ways without him.

Tl;dr: Insightful man seeks smart, self-aware woman for realistic life-long TPE relationship. Please inquire via PM for so, so many more details.