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Hi! I have been struggling with my attraction to the same sex for several years. Recently I have come to the acceptance of bisexuality, which is a culmination of all those years of questioning. I have never done anything sexually with a man, so as you can imagine, I am very eager to get together with the right guy for the first time.
I'm a single white male, 48 years old. I'd like to chat online a little first before meeting out in public. I want to feel comfortable with anyone I meet before proceeding with anything, and I expect anyone else would want to feel comfortable with me too. Plus the best way to determine the vibe between us is in person. I hope anybody who considers meeting me will agree. I'd like to take one step at a time but I'm not ruling out an ongoing relationship.
My homosexual fantasies usually involve me being submissive, so I considered a gentleman who is "officially" dominant may be an apt consideration. But along with no experience with the same sex, I also don't have any with BDSM. I respect that not everyone is ready, willing, or able to introduce a "noob" to new ways of life, so I want to be clear on what I bring to the table, which is enthusiasm, eagerness, an open mind, nervousness, imagination, but not experience.
I know that there are various directions in which a BDSM experience can go, but I realize that such an interaction is a state of mind more than anything else, as good sex in general should also be. Still, I should be clear on what I am and am not looking for. I think that the thing I look forward to most is bondage. There's something about physically restricting my body's ability to move while another moves freely around me and is able to take liberties with me. It meshes with my desire to be submissive. Maybe there's an aspect of the relinquishment of responsibility that softens the impact of the shock I'm sure I'll feel actually doing this rather than just thinking about it. Along with tying up, I'm open to blindfolding, gagging, and earplugs, so sensory deprivation is very open.
I'm open to some pain. I realize that it puts pleasure into some perspective, and in the right mindset pain itself is pleasurable. I am not into anything extreme though, and nothing that leaves marks, draws blood, or causes permanent damage.
Along with excessive physical abuse I'm not looking for verbal abuse and explicit humiliation. Feigned impatience and derogatory terms will make me withdraw from the experience. I do want to know where my place is, yes, but not through name calling.
One way I'm very open to having my place shown is CMNM. I imagine that the act of bearing myself in a vulnerable, physically and visually, condition, while someone else has the benefit of clothing will remind me who is in a position to be in charge. I do realize nudity can be viewed as a form of humiliation, but it's to a degree I'm comfortable with as long as it's not on the level of mockery.
This being a state of mind, I'm open to role playing, as long as it's not violent. Something like rape pay for example would be too much for me. Incest play seems creepy to me, but I'll stop just short of refusing to do it. Gender play could be interesting. I'm a cis male, but during this I'm open to assuming a female gender, or just dressing up like a woman. Role playing is about trying different ideas. In that spirit I'm open to going beyond the limitations of what we have directly in front of us, but with limits.
So that we're clear, and I cover all the bases I can think of, no scat, blood, underage, filming, action in public, or hardcore drugs. As far as watersports, I'm willing to partake but not take anything in my mouth. That's disgusting! Safe sex only, and I'd like the option of a safe word, though I'm not sure how that works if one is gagged.
I will gladly and eagerly submit to anyone I'm comfortable with, but I expect to be respected too. I also expect to be challenged in what I'm willing to do and what I think.
I'm open to having other gentlemen join in as Doms or subs. Being gangbanged is one of my fantasies. I'm also open to having ladies join in as Dommes or subs, but do want the opportunity to be with just the fellows too.
I hope that this sounds appealing to some local enough gentleman. I look forward to chatting and seeing what comes after that.
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