I wish I had counted the times I've written this sort of post. Not just the one I'm posting now, but the ones I've posted for the last two years. I love this subreddit. It has given me the opportunity to explore my sexuality in a safe environment. I've had wonderful long and short term Doms. I've tested what I thought were my limits. I've grown, I've regressed, and then grown again. But my submissive journey to find my subspace is not finished.

My previous experience has leaned towards desiring Daddy/pleasure Doms and power exchanges where I've set firm boundaries. While I've enjoyed this immensely, I think I need more. I've shied away from sadistic Doms because I was afraid of having my little feelings hurt, but I realize that may be what I'm missing. The moments where I've been put in my place properly, when I feel the most uneasy about my abilities, are the ones I feel most intensely. The goosebumps, the blush that turns my face hot, the discomfort of knowing I'm not getting my way - this gets to my core.

The dynamic:

I would like to find a long term online or in-person sadistic Dom who has the patience to let me explore this sort of dynamic. This includes letting me try new things and understanding that I may ultimately decide to slide back into a more mild dynamic. As this would require a significant time and energy investment, it would be necessary that we have some vanilla interests in common and can communicate on more than just the dynamic.

The Dom:

I would do best with an older Dom under the age of 55 - no young alpha bull types need apply. Ideally, he is ambitious and well established in his career and takes care of his financial, mental, and physical health. He must have his life together in order to take over mine and have my respect. He is not misogynistic or politically conservative/right-wing. He is a perfectionist who has a fine attention to detail and will hold me accountable for the smallest errors. He takes pleasure in building a sub up. He enjoys the psychological manipulation more than physical. I do not have a preference for his marital status or location but time zone compatibility is important.

The sub:

I learn best from the, “fuck around and find out" style of pushing my Dom’s buttons and have brat tendencies. I love to try and outwit my Dom or anticipate his next move. These habits need breaking. I am interested in a power exchange where I'm molded into what my Dom desires. I care more about approval than praise. Knowing I lived up to my Dom’s high standards is what thrills me. I dislike extreme pain and I'm not interested in bimbofication, foreign insertions or 50s household style submission. I want to experience degradation and humiliation with an experienced Dom. I am overweight and while my physical appearance may not be your cup of tea, you have the opportunity to change my body into what you want.

There's much more to discuss and this post is long enough. If you're interested in helping a submissive truly test her limits then please message me with your age, location, and a photo of a pen you own. I expect my Dom to pay attention to detail and will only respond to messages that include these three things. It takes some time to filter messages and check for compatibility so please know it may take me a little while to get back to you. This is for good reason - I won't settle and neither should you.