(bold is changed relative to my previous post)

I have a kink...

I'm not vanilla, or 'regular' or 'mainstream' by any stretch of the imagination.

I'm someone who, genuinely and deep down, doesn't fit into the cultural mainstream's perspective on what BDSM is. Having a kink is something that's a core part deep inside of my being: if I cannot have dominance, I don't feel like myself. I'd feel like I'm missing something. As if the world isn't right: just a general sense of malaise of things just being 'off'. It's not just a thing I do to get to orgasm: I need dominance to feel like myself. Yes, I employ my dominance to command my submissive and get off, but that's not the point of the kink.

Explaining how that difference between kink and fetish works would be a post in and of itself, so if you want to know more about how I see that, I have a pinned post on my profile explaining it.

...for dominance...

I believe there's always an imbalance of power in any relationship, at any given time.

Not only do I see that when I'm around people (people struggling and being in conflict about who has the final say, or just general 'harshness', or not being aware that they're struggling for control to begin with), I also don't understand how a 'balanced' relationship works. It confuses me.

If two people have an equal say, and they want to move in opposite directions, doesn't that mean they won't move at all? Then, only when one of them becomes less adamant about what they want, does the other win. That sounds like an imbalance to me.

Plus, I feel like the relationship stagnates when I am 'equal' to someone else in said relationship. I have strong ideas about what things should be, and what is 'right', and so on, but I respect everyone's right to have their own opinion too. In other words, I can't force myself onto others, and I don't want to.

Unfortunately for me, I can't just turn my kink off. So if I have my convictions, yet respect other people having their perspectives, that puts me in a difficult position.

Only BDSM solves that problem.

If I am the kind of person with a need to dominate without force or coercion, then the best solution would be a relationship with a person who has the exact opposite need: someone who has the natural need to defer to someone who's telling them what to do. Or in other words, someone who needs to be submissive.

...and what that means for you.

I've written down a bunch of rules I follow in my dynamics, the link to which I will send you when we're chatting. It outlines how I see relationships in general, and how I fulfill my kinks.

If you have a kink for submission, those rules will make you feel happy. If not, they'll give you a sense of how serious I am about this whole thing.

I also outline who I am as a person: my psychology and my inner world, and so on.

Then, when you've read the whole thing and understand it, I'll test you on how you understand it. There's no rush for you to understand. I'd much rather you be well-informed and make a good decision than force you through the whole process. Obviously, I'm ready to explain things if you don't understand what's in the document.

You can consider going through this whole ordeal my first act dominance towards you.

If it's too much for you to read a document and have a chat with me about how you understood that document, we'll never have a healthy dynamic. Yes, I'm serious enough to do all of this to make sure there's a match.

If you feel good about this post:

Send me a message. We'll have that chat I promised.

If not, why are you still reading?