Welcome Gentlemen (or particularly ambitious Ladies),

This little advert and related quick reference handbook was designed by Your's Truly, also known as Matilde, or simply the "Hands down most amazing and humble woman on the planet".

As you will be able to tell by the end of this, I take particular joy in being clever in that adorably annoying way. Also, I do like to talk, and I'm certainly not a traditionally submissive woman. Yes, I'll expand on that just be prepared...

Speaking of which I'll attempt to give some structure to this post. (And, no I'm definitely not doing this retrospectively after realizing that I'm just a bit too much...)

1. Get to now your slave (a cutesy personal touch):

Let's start at the beginning. As I've already said my names is Matilde, although, if you don't find it sassy or sexy enough then you're in luck, because I'm perfectly happy to listen to more demeaning or sexual nicknames as well. In fact as you have seen I don't mind being referred to as a slave at all. But, you can go with whatever you prefer, just no animal names please.

I'm 38 years old, but please understand that if I get slightest hint that you think I'm old 3 things will happen depending on the severity of your disrespect:

• Menacingly rolling my eyes at you
• Storming off, and responding with "No, I'm fine" with any attempts at reproachment.
• Bottle up the offense and unleash fucking hell at a random completely unrelated moment in time on the unsuspecting offender (that's you).

I'm rather tall, quite fit and extremely capable woman. Not to mention being a proud owner of a great set of abs! Well... At least on those days when I didn't binge on too much unhealthy but delicious food. I'm big fan of the outdoors, love hiking, camping, hunting.

I'm also just in general very much into generally being active and sports, I love trail running, climbing, I do certain martial arts / combat sports, shooting and I occasionally play a bit of football and beach volleyball.

Football, because I grew up in neighbourhood with boys thus, and beach volleyball because later on I figured that I might as well do a sport where I actually look good while doing it. You'd think that's a joke. But no, I started playing beach volley solely because I thought I looked hot in a bikini. Quite superficial of me...

Anyway, what else is there... Oh, yeah. I've spent a lot of time, in fact most of my adult life in the military and not enough in college. Which means that on one hand I'm very good at jumping out of planes, swimming, finding things and not freezing to death but on the other hand I've also learned how to complain about everything, and I'm doing school at 38 years old. So less binge drinking and more binge reading on the weekends.

What's that dude? Did you have enough of reading useless stuff and wanna get to the truly important shit like my bra size? I hear you...

2. Get to know your slave (a not too demure pussy grab):

I know you're man (most likely), you wanna read sexy stuff about me. You don't care about my favourite colour unless it happens to be the same as the nipple clamps I like to wear.

In all seriousness though, I'm don't mind that mindset, to a degree at least. I'm not someone who hides her sexuality, in fact I like to think about it as an outer layer of me, which is always there, part of who I am, but certainly doesn't diminishes me. So the next time I finish a marathon and your first thought is that I look hot in a sports bra and not that I'm fucking amazing, just know that I don't mind it at all.

Now, some would probably call that an unfair sexualization of women, but I honestly kinda like that. Both actually, unfairness and oversexualization.

And that's where we are circling back to me referring to myself as a slave, even though I'm very clearly not the "roll over" type of submissive. I adore a strong and visible power dynamic, I like not being in control, at least to a degree. I think the best way to put is that I chose to not make decisions. At least not related to my sexuality.

I'm a huge fan of bdsm, and fortunately for you, unfortunately for me I'm also rather resilient and can take a lot.

Now, to be fair, I would rather not go into too many specifics in this advert at least, but one rather unique and I'd like to thing kinda hot thing I do is I do wear ankle weights at home with little to no clothes, both to put in some extra passive workout, but also to simulate being somewhat shackled. You know mixing the pleasant with the useful, I guess.

3. Confession/warning/advisory

I'm sure you must have seen that the advert is designated with #Online only. The reason is relatively simply. I've had the wonderful opportunity not too long ago to retire fully and really explore my sexuality, to be the that strong, capable, sexy, and annoying slave I always wanted to be. I have people who I spend time with in various arrangements irl. It's not a secret, I won't dig into the details here, but you're welcome to ask if you decide to reach out.

With all that in mind though, I love being sexualized, in slightly demeaning and very much so dominating manner as much as possible. In line with that, this post aims to find friends/ pen pals/ chat partners, or what the fuck ever the kinds call this these days. Someone I can talk to from time to time when I'm home and otherwise unoccupied. Someone who'd enjoy treating me that way, if only over the internet.

4.Conclusion

First of all I'd like to thank you for giving my rambling a read. I hope you had some fun, reading it, and maybe even know me a little better as a result. I know it was long.

Finally I'll ask you to do something that might be a tad weird. If you decide to reach out, I'd like you to treat me as I like it. Dominating, slightly demeaning, and oversexualizing. Now, this doesn't mean that I don't want to talk, or be serious. Trust me, I'm capable of maintain myself and having a conversation even while you're unleashing your more dominant side. You know, I'm the kind of woman who will tell you that you're an idiot even if I've been being forced to ride a vibrator for the last half an hour.

And that's kind of the whole point with the salve vs submissive thing. I'm very much my own person, I just chose to enslave my body and sexuality to people who like the idea of a woman who considers a slap as a flirty compliment.