Disclaimer(s): The dinner does not end in sex. I will not be in town until the end of February. I am seeking a one-time meetup—no long-term arrangement. I am paying for my own food.

Scene: We meet for upscale, mildly kinky dinner on a weeknight in Manhattan and keep each other amused over a 2hrs chef’s tasting course. There will be instructions on what to wear, what to eat, when to eat, etc.

You: Live in one of the boroughs, in your late 20s – early 30s, work out enough to be visibly muscular, lean politically left, not necessarily straight, excel at taking direction, emotionally crushed by the ending of Netflix’s Arcane, and enjoy speculative literature and travel. The subject line of your DM must be your recommendation for a Michelin-starred restaurant or the message will be ignored (please, god, no sushi. I am omakase-ed and kaiseki-ed out.) Ideally the owner of a semi-fashionable wardrobe but not a femboy. Ask sharp, interesting questions. Ideally intrigued for my attention--at first. Later, desperate.

Me: Too serious for my own good, possess zero tolerance for brats and brat-adjacent types, torn between visiting the Guggenheim or Whitney because there’s not enough time during this upcoming trip, terminally online when not chained to work, considered conventionally attractive, keep vampire hours, currently playing The Marias’s newest album on repeat, recently subjected myself to 100hrs of DA: Veilguard to make sure that yes, the drop in writing quality completely gutted the series, and gearing up to watch the final season of What We Do in The Shadows. Emotionally and geographically unavailable for anything more than a single meal.

Approach: Chats are closed because I prefer longform, introductory messages. Comb through my user history for something to say. Face/body pic verification required before meeting. To ensure that two incompatible people aren’t trapped in a multicourse meal, I expect us to talk semi-consistently and get to know one another in the weeks leading up.

TL;DR I want to look at submissive eye candy who keeps up their end of the conversation while I eat.